Mostly dead
A near-death love story
Hello Love. How was the show?
It flashes by so fast
Don’t worry you’re only mostly dead
But you almost died the cast
Now listen closely. There’s only minutes
To choose your pathway
Wake up, go back to earth
Or stay here and play
What dreams may come? It’s up to you
You are what you imagine
Today, I’m Gene Kelly
And you’re Falcor the dragon
I can see you think I’m blowing smoke
So darlin’ I must confess
You’ve a birthmark in your right ear
And one under your dress
Don’t worry baby. I ain’t stalkin’
Angels know everything
And since the first dawn
You’re the sweetest thing I’ve seen
Remember when that limb snapped
In your sweet ol’ Gumtree
Ever wonder how you landed
ever so softly
Sometimes I think you knew
I was there all along
You’d reach out to touch
Or sing me a song
Well of course there’s a hell
It’s all in your head
Those who don’t forgive themselves
Die before their dead
No, there isn’t a God.
There’s too many to know
Breeding like rabbits
Always in meetings, making space grow
It’s a NeverEnding Story
A reincar … nival ride
Where nothing’s left behind
We’re all electrified
Dust to dust, we disappear
Just to light back up
I’ve tried every door
But it’s love that fills my cup
It’s love that fills me up
So make love for heaven’s sake
Make love for heaven’s sake
[Heard off camera]
But I can’t do Falcor. You gotta switch back.
”Dream a dream – and what you see will be”
Jan. 1, 2026 update: Took 20 years, but MY BOOK IS LIVE — ready for laughs!!!
Took 20 years, but MY BOOK IS LIVE and ready for laughs!
Fraternal Youth is an experimental memoir with QR-linked videos to cultural artifacts such as:
our dog fetching beer from the fridge (my COVID project)
gladiator funboard challenges
pop culture video references
pranks, gags, adventure!
Fraternal Youth Cocktail:
5 parts fatherhood fails + the absurdity of life
4 parts goofy boy-girl twins + their crazy pets
3 parts adventure (Bonnaroo, Greece, hitchhiking)
2 parts peaceful parenting + simple discipline systems
1 part hope: a five-year hunt for all the tech, medical and energy breakthroughs that will save us + my comical spin
Fraternal Youth Praise
⭐ “Mix Jim Gaffigan, Erma Bombeck and Pee Wee Herman into a Darby Smoothie. Add a dash of nonsense that makes perfect sense and you’ve got a compilation that spans from raising kids to raising hell. I’m an avid fan.”
Wendy Parker, satirist for Overdrive Magazine
⭐ “Darby stunned me with this book. It’s happy, funny, sad and weird - all the things that make up a life well lived, and he tells it with such beauty and momentum. So many chapters swept me away.”
Ginger Cook (GC), Substack humorist
Fraternal Youth Early Excerpts
I changed my first diaper on August 27, 2007. It smelled like fermented mothballs with a touch of failed dreams. I don’t know where those subtle notes came from, but they were good reminders to use birth control.
2 years, 8 months old
Kids got in trouble at the store. Finn dropped a can of tinned pork on Melina’s middle toe. The SPAM survived, but Momma no longer has a piggy that eats roast beef. The toe’s still there, but it’s a scarred vegetarian now.
3 years, 8 months
Me: “Finn, didn’t you say you’d drink your juice after dinner?”
Finn: “I didn’t hear me say that.”
4 years, 10 months
“Shhhh! I heard a sound make a noise.” ~ Fiona
5 years, 11 months
“Every time you go into war, you should go potty first.” ~ Finn
… and buy it one day when you have 20 bucks. Thanks a million!
Become a paid subscriber …
so I can make you laugh for a living!
20 - 80% OFF! You choose:
Monthly: $ 1 | $ 2 | $ 3 | $ 4 | $ 5



I admire your brilliance. I couldn’t love this piece more than I do now.
I have never seen this movie, but this was cute!